oh, we dont use that word over here lol

----------------


Need any help? pm me!

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly the horse falls into a mud hole and starts sinking. He tells the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can't be found.
So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend and drives forward saving the horse from sinking.
A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow again, and the chicken falls into a mud hole. The chicken tells the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse says: "I think I can get you out."
So he stretches over the width of the hole and says: "Grab hold of my 'thing' and pull yourself up."
The chicken does this and is pulled to safety. Moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. Her nose.

Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

TOP TEN THINGS MEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP WITH A VAGINA FOR A DAY...

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

----------------

It's a State of Mind - R.M.C

Mi mong^^ quality^^

I use mong all the time, its a great word^^

BTW guys, no need to put disclaimers or anything at the start of your jokes. I did that right at the start to cover all jokes told on the thread.

And Zeeky here you go!!!

------------------------------------------
What do you call a leper in a bath?

Porridge
------------------------------------------
How do you get a leper out of bed?

Vacum Cleaner
------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the leper playing poker?

He threw in his hand
------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the leper Ice hockey match?

There was a face-off in the corner
------------------------------------------
How do you kill a leper?

Stick 2 straws up his nose and suck till his head caves in
------------------------------------------

Happy now^^

----------------
What about ye?

Alpha_Cephei@wolfpackclan.com

I love you alpha simple as that :D

Aim to please^^

Considering about puttin the long ones back. They my fav, but most were double posts^^

----------------
What about ye?

Alpha_Cephei@wolfpackclan.com

A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from."

Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from."

Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.

-------------------

A Muslim walks into his local mosque with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about, Abdul?" Asks the Imam.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies Abdul. "I live by the railroad tracks and on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the rails, like in the American movies. I cut her free and took her back to my humble abode. Allah be praised - we made love all night, all around the tent. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position permitted by Mohammed, Peace Be Upon Him!"

"By the most Merciful," exclaimed the Imam, "you have been blessed. Was she as beautiful as a desert flower?"

Abdul grimaced, "By the Jinn, I do not know - I never found her head."

--------------------

A journalist goes to Iraq and is surprised to see that the local men allow their wives to walk in front of them. The journalist approaches a local and says, "I thought the custom in Islamic countries was for wives to walk ten paces behind their husbands?"

"It was," replied the local, "But that all changed with the war."

"How did the war change things?" The journalist enquired.

The local replied, "Land mines."

---------------------

Q. How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A. They mark the camels that kick.

Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
A. Nothing, yet.

Q. When's the only time you should wink at a Muslim?
A. When aiming.

Q: Why do most Muslim rapes go unreported?
A: Goats can't testify

A Muslim wife has just given birth to a little girl.
The father asks the doctor how long it will be before he can have sex.
The doctor says, "For f*k’s sake, Abdul, at least wait until she can walk.

----------------

It's a State of Mind - R.M.C

Paddy Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman walk into a bar............

The barman says, "What the fuck is this, some kind of a joke?"

----------------
What about ye?

Alpha_Cephei@wolfpackclan.com

I heard tis one before,i think tis is how it goes


Three men were chatting in the local pub, talking about their bedroom antics

The first one says "When i do my wife, she lifts up by six inches"
The second one says "When i do my wife, she lifts up by nine inches"

The third one says "When i do my wife she raises by 2 metres"

"How is that possible?" the other two said

"Cos, when i'm done with her, i wipe my c*** off the curtain, then she hits the roof!"

----------------


Need any help? pm me!

LOOOOOL at the last few!